i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
