We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
