I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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