My hair reeks of homosexuality.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
