i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Someone signed my nipple.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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