just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
These tits shall not be calmed
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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