so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize