so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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