i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
