i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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