I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
