Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
