she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
