So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
