He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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