Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
did i walk over a car last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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