Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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