Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize