sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
