i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
how does that bad decision feel?
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