We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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