I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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