I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
