i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
