And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
