I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
