Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
