yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
BRING THE BAGELS
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
