True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
