currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Dear god my vagina.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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