I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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