My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
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I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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