i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
