My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
