i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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