oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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