yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I got her a Nickelback box set.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Green mimosas i think yes
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
