Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
