Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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