ya dads aren't the best wingmen
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
