All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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