The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize