We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
