our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
We had to coat check the pizza.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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