Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
