evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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