eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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