It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
