Have you finally orgasmed yet?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
