no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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