Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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