My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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