i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
