IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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