hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
