yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
