She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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