Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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