I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
