This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize