what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
